Many gaming review sites seem to believe that games can be graded with a complex mathematical formula, something along the lines of:

(Graphics 1-5) + (Music 1-5) + (Controls 1-5) + (Voice Acting 1-5) + (Story 1-5) + (Fanboyism 1-5) = Score

Of course, you can see the problems with this system right away. It assumes that there is a quantifiable quality of game "parts" (such as graphics) which can be precisely ranked! Sure, you could use polygon count for Graphics, but how do you quantify story, or music?

Then bias creeps in. You expect bias, because it is a review written by a human. But then again, a mathematically accurate scale implies unbiased measurements.

What happens is you get different reviewers using different yardsticks to come up with precise looking scores, and then you compare scores and they don't match. Scores from one singe reviewer might not even seem to follow the same yardstick from one game to the next!

And then there are score aggregate sites which try to average together numerical scores using complex and proprietary weighting numbers to try to cut out numerical bias... but even after all that, you can't really compare numerical scores to each other to decide if one game is "better" than another. Factor in that over time, technology gets better, so cutting edge 5.0 graphics this year become 3.0 graphics next year... it's crazy!

And it still doesn't tell you the most important thing! Sure, a game is a 8.9... But is it fun?!?

So, we at Gamium throw out all the silly pretense. We don't act like we have some kind of mathematical system to score games. We don't break games into arbitrary parts and give each a score. We don't even try to act unbiased. We're completely biased, and proud of it! And to make sure we don't get too serious, we've designed this scoring system (it may look a bit familiar to you...)

• EPIC WIN: Pawn your cat to buy this game if you have to.
• AWESOME: Keep the cat, but get this game ASAP!
• WIN: You should get this game and play it with your cat.
• MEH: You might have more fun playing with your cat, instead
• FAIL: Even your cat doesn't want to play this game.
• EPIC FAIL: You will PWN your cat if you play this game.

What's with all the cat references? Glad you asked.

So, with such a simple score system... what's the scoring criteria?

FUN.

I think we can generally quantify our own level of fun. We know when we're enjoying something, and we know when we're not. And that's what Gamium's score system is designed to score... are we having fun playing the game?

Lets go back to the Game Store analogy. Just because Bob thinks Archduke Hackem Forever is EPIC WIN doesn't mean YOU will think it's the best game ever. However, once you've come to know that you and Bob both like the same kind of games, look for the same things in games... when Bob says a game is EPIC WIN, you'll likely agree.

But when Bob comes up to you to talk about Archduke Hackem Forever, he doesn't just shove the box into your hands and say "BEST GAME EVER!" He usually explains himself. He doesn't make a long winded pontifications about the finer details of story writing or gaming industry, he usually tells you how cool the graphics are, how immersive the story is, and how the controls are a bit sucky at first, but you get used to them. His reviews aren't 5 page epics, they're "Elevator Pitches" designed to get you to buy that game now, get home, beat it, and come back and talk to him about how awesome the game is.

In the same vein, Gamium's Editors write "Elevator Pitch" reviews designed to get the games you want to play into your hands with a minimum of fuss. It's just like Bob at the game store, but with less shoving at the cash register.