I don't play games quickly anymore. I get an hour a night, on average, MAYBE if I'm lucky. So consequently, I don't get to review games in their entirety in a timely manner. I think, though that a lot of people have this kind of time crunch in their personal lives. The average age of gamers has increased to 32. Our readers are, on average, not the kind of person who can play a video game for 48 hours straight. Therefore, I think my first impression reviews are pretty useful.

I'm reviewing specifically the upgrade process, as well as first impressions of Windows 7. Once I use it more, I'll be able to give a more complete rundown of how it works. Through some finagling of an old EDU email address, I was able to score a student copy of Windows 7 Home Premium. I upgraded from XP Pro, and the process was...as smooth as I'd expect from Microsoft.

Pizza Hut has been promoting their new Stuffed Crust Pan Pizza. In their ad campaign, they blatantly rip off our scoring structure, giving themselves an AWESOME without a single by-your-leave.

This brashness intreagued me, and made me desire to learn more. I went to my local Pizza Hut and ordered my favorite pizza: Meat Lovers Pan with Black Olives... but with a twist... Make that a Stuffed Crust Pan Pizza.

I should have gone with my normal Hand-Tossed.

Something has gone wrong on Mars, and the only response is a highly trained team of marine misfits who have to give up their leave to kick some demon backside.

As an action flick, it was OK. As a game tie-in, it was OK. Not really special, except the fact that it was Doom, instead of, say, Generic Horror Action Adventure the Movie.

So after a few weeks of owning the T-Mobile G1 with Android by Google (god, brand it concisely people) I can confidently say that it's unpolished, unfinished, and running on substandard hardware with a terrible battery.

Okay, first things first, in order to even "get" this game, you must first look over the Loserman animated Gifs. I don't have the link handy, but if I recall, Spoony has left it on the download page.

The game opens as our ragefully rotund hero has all but obviously let a bunch of friends sleep on his bright red rug. Further inspection reveals that, gasp and amazement, they're dead! That's either one uncomfortable rug, or one really comfortable rug. Begrieved, out hero does the only sensible thing there is. He goes on a killing rampage.

Mirror's edge is the latest in attempted Hybrids with a little mix of Survival (not horror), Action, and a first-person perspective that flirts with the shooter part of the first-person shooter like a Playboy Bunny flirts with the rich old guy with the oxygen tank. While I would like to see more attempts at this type of game in the future (not necessaryily Mirror's Edge II) I'm sorry to say that there are too many cons for a WIN, and Mirror's Edge will just have to live with a MEH.

I recently went on a Virutal Console Benge, and asked around for suggestions on games to purchase that I may have missed in the last year that I have shunned the Wii console. One game I got quite a recommendation for was Secret of Mana, a game I used to have in cartridge form a long time ago. With such good reviews and such fond memories this must be an epic game, right?

TL;DR Review: I thought Power Rangers and Barney were cool back then too.

If you had asked me yesterday "Daniel, when was the last time you had thrown a controller in frustration?" I would have replied "dear reader, I'm far too experienced and mature to do such a silly thing, the last time I threw a controller was far back in my youth, perhaps during the heyday of the Genesis." If you ask me today, however, I'd say "last night playing that FUCKING GTA IV"

I guess my expectations were too high. I normally try to ignore the hype, and apply a sort of anti-hype to my brain when a game is declared the undisputed greatest game ever (since last week). However, I approached Grand Theft Auto IV with the expectation that it would be the quintessential greatest game ever, and after 5 hours of play I was sorely disappointed in my purchase.

I have discovered through retrospection and discussion with fellow gamers that my complaints are minor. However, a game that got an average score of 97% (according to game rankings) shouldn't have as many complaints as it does. As a first impression, this game gets a MEH. Perhaps later it will be upgraded.